Soccer tryouts ended yesterday. After nearly two weeks, I was glad they were finally over. Today I went to the high school to look on the roster sheet and see what team I had made. To my shock, I didn't make any team. I was not on the list of players. I double checked the list, maybe I had not seen my name. But as hard as I looked, and as much as I wanted it to be, my name wasn't on the list.
I was shocked and devastated. I love soccer. I have played every year since I was 5. This was going to be my 14th year straight. Some of the people who made the team weren't even born when I started playing soccer, seriously.
It is not that I am a great player. But at the same time, I am not a bad one. I have been playing so long, I have a good grasp on the mental aspect of the game. I think the main reason is there is a new coach in town. He doesn't know the history of players, and only had two weeks to judge talent. On top of that, I am a senior. I noticed that a large percentage of the people cut were seniors. The new coach is trying to build a program. If I am not going to be on varsity this year, I have nothing to contribute to this team. This made me angry, as I have spent three years in this soccer program. I was excited for my senior year, the last year I planned on playing competitive soccer. I didn't expect of even want to be on varsity, I just wanted to play. I play for pure enjoyment and my love of the game, not for dreams of being on a certain team or individual rewards.
It took a lot of courage, but I decided to talk to the coach. I went to practice, and sat in the car for almost half an hour watching the team practice. When it was over, I went to talk to him. I turned in my loaned soccer ball, and was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. But before I could say something, he thanked me for "coming out for the team, and trying." He said it was hard to cut people, and probably harder for the person cut, but that he "didn't have anything nice to say." I think he was referring to having to cut people, not saying he couldn't think of anything nice to say about me as a person. He shook my hand, and I left. I never had a chance tell him if he ever had a spot open up on any team, I would be glad to play. I guess I was sort of stunned and embarrassed.
I will really miss soccer. It has been a part of my life for so long. I had big plans for this season, to try my hardest and really get in good shape. I guess this won't happen. Hopefully I can keep jogging. It is also sort of disappointing I just spent money on some brand new cleats, cleats that I will never use. I will miss soccer, and it will take quite a while to get over the pain of leaving the sport the way I did. A chapter in my life has ended, a long enjoyable chapter.
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6 comments:
You seem to be handling it well. I commend you for that.
Danny,
It has been pure joy to watch you run around the field for the last 14 years! Padre
Aw, Danny, that’s hard to hear! I can just think of various times I’ve had news or situations similar to this, and the sense of shock and irrevocable loss is so fierce it almost brings tears. It’s funny, though, but as I think about this longer, it reminds me of that amazing video your Grandma Ruth sent, showing the woman who’d lost her arm performing a moving pas de deux. Somehow I have a feeling there are more days on the field ahead of you, at some point.
is that you christi?
nate
I'm sorry to hear that your soccer days ended in such a manner as this. It may be possible that you'll get the chance to play again, though. It was one of the toughest decisions I'd ever made when I called it quits with track. I can't imagine having that decision made by someone else.
Dude that sucks,
but hey there is always college.
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